


stockholm something

by GalPals



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bonding, Drama, F/F, Hostage!Lexa, Humor, Romance, Unexpected Friendship, Unorthodox meeting, Violence, criminal!Clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:24:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3624768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalPals/pseuds/GalPals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke takes Lexa hostage and the two of them take one hell of a trip together. (I changed the title, sorry about the confusion!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Waiting for your boss to finish up their business at the bank is about as exciting as it sounds. Having to do said waiting in the car during a particularly hot summer’s day however is just an awful experience. This is the situation Lexa has been in for what feels like an eternity and to top it all off her phone battery is running low so in a while she will not even be able to play wordfeud with her grandmother (and that’s a huge problem because she is 60 points under and needs to bring her A-game to avoid getting her ass kicked by the elderly, again).

Aaand there went her phone, dammit. What is she going to do now? Count the cars driving by? No that will just get her sleepy, and she cannot fall asleep because she must be ready when her boss comes back. The last time she fell asleep in the car while waiting for her she got the tongue lashing of the century, and she is not ready to relive that today.

What did people even do before phones? Read a newspaper? Well she can’t do that, the only thing in the car to read is a manual and she is not that bored. Maybe in another fifteen minutes. Ugh how did she, and the rest of America, become this dependent on their phones? This is ridiculous!

She decides looks out the window, she is not sure what it is she is looking for. Perhaps something out of the ordinary to train her eyes on for a while. Something that can make time go faster. Then her eyes find something just like that, something out of the ordinary. The most breathtaking blond walking past the cars across the street, she seems to be in some sort of hurry because her steps are a bit uneven but she still carries herself with a striking sense of confidence. She is wearing a sharp black business suit and her hair is flowing in the wind like something out of a disney movie, it is quite mesmerizing. The blond looks around a bit and then her eyes seem to look in Lexa’s direction, though she can’t be sure since the distance between them is quite big and she is probably looking at the building behind her or something. Still, it gives her a chance to look at the blonde’s features a bit more and she can fully deduce that yes - she is absolutely gorgeous.

And then she is gone, past Lexa’s field of view and she lets out the breath she has apparently been holding for quite sometime because she starts coughing right after. She wonders for a moment where she was going, maybe she had a business meeting she needed to get to quickly. She did after all look like someone important, so someone is probably waiting for her. She really hopes the woman is single because maybe she’ll meet her again sometime. Maybe they’ll go out for drinks. Maybe they’ll have a nice time and maybe they’ll move in together, get married, adopt children and grow old together.

Or maybe they’ll never meet again. Or meet at all since she doubts that one party staring at the other through a car window really count as an official meeting. She hopes they will though, she was really pretty. And knew how to dress which is something Lexa appreciates in a woman.

She starts drumming on the steering wheel in an attempt to keep herself occupied. It fails because she has no rhythm to speak of and what started out as an pretty horrible acoustic cover of Sugar by Maroon 5 turns into senseless tapping as her minds drifts away. To where, well, to where it always go when she has too much time to herself. Back to a time when her life wasn’t filled with driving around this ungrateful ass of a boss. Back to her.

 

\----------

_Dark brown hair that seem to go on forever,_

_eyes colored by the deepest darkest abyss_

_and a mouth filled with promises of forever and eternity._

_Those are the things she remembers the best, the way she looked during those days they spent together before the last time they saw each other. Before everything changed too quickly. Before she had to grow up and face the world for the cold and lonely place that it is. Before they took her away._

_“I love you.”_

_Her words have been spoken a billion times by a billion people but when they are spoken by her they mean something. They mean everything._

\----------

 

The door suddenly opens and Lexa is jolted back into reality as the memory and fantasy disappear away into the back of her mind where they belong. Finally, the bosslady is back and she can get out of this excruciatingly boring sit-and-do-nothing position she has been in for the last half hour and get back to driving her back to the office and spend the coming hours sitting by the AC, filing papers the boss is too important to look through, and sip on her late-morning-early-lunch coffee.

“I’m glad you are back I-” That is all she is able to say before she deduces that that is, in fact, not her boss sitting next to her in the car.

It’s a stranger.

A stranger wearing a balaclava.

Holding a gun.

Oh. _Shit_.

“Drive.” Is the only thing this person says to her and she is about to argue, but then she suddenly feels something cold against her chin and hears a click. Oh. _Shit_. “Drive.” The person hisses at her with way harsher tone than before and it makes Lexa's blood freeze.

“Alright, alright!” Lexa says when she is able to work through the shock of the entire situation that she is currently in. When she can breathe again. And talk again. “I’ll drive but please, please put that gun away it is making me incredibly nervous and if I am going to drive I do not want to do so while being nervous because that gets people killed and I cannot drive if I am being killed - if I am dead.”

“You know what else gets people killed?” That is such an obvious setup for a really bad joke… or, well, a threat in this situation. The stranger removes the gun for a moment which makes Lexa breathe out of a moment but then shoves the gun harder than before against her temple and the short moment of relief is over. It is a bit less uncomfortable than having it shoved up in her chin though the force of it makes that difference seem unimportant. She is definitely going to get a bruise, if she gets out of this alive that is.

“Yes of course, I’ll-I’ll drive!” She says and fumbles with the keys trying to start the car. She can see in the corner of her eye that the person sitting next to her is getting impatient and she hopes to god that she won’t just shoot her and take the car. But she doesn’t and Lexa ignites the engine and starts to drive. They are in the middle of New York City so naturally there are a lot of taxi cabs around which is a bit tricky to maneuver if you are not used to it. Luckily for the criminal now in the car, Lexa is an expert driver. She pretty much had to become one since her days nowadays are filled with driving around her ungrateful boss to meetings with a time-window just large enough so they’ll make it if they don’t run into any red lights. (which they never do thanks so Lexa’s ability to always choose the right path, and also speed through red lights when necessary though that is not so much an ability as an illegal practise she has yet to be fined for)

The police sirens behind them are ungodly loud and the increasing loudness of them makes Lexa feel both relieved and incredibly frightened. Who knows if the police will be able to reach her before this maniac pops a bullet into her brain. Maybe it is safer if she just drives to the best of her abilities, you know, try and get this person away from the police and then maybe they’ll drop her off somewhere and let her live as a thanks. Maybe she is being too optimistic. But she likes to think that there is some good part in every person. Even a criminal currently holding a gun towards her temple.

“Get us away from those cops now!” The person in the mask yells at her in a gruff voice, are they using a voice box? Or maybe they just have a serious case of the Christian Bale batman voice, or a nasty cold. However it is impossible for her to tell what gender they are. Well, that doesn’t really matter since she’ll be dead either way if she doesn’t follow their orders. So she puts her foot down hard on the pedal and starts driving around the traffic trying her best to avoid running over any innocent bystanders or crashing into any of the other cars around her. It is exhilarating driving this fast through the traffic clogged streets of New York. And it is also terrifying because there is someone pointing a gun at her the entire time, but if she focuses on the Liam Neeson action movie style car chase instead? Yeah, then it’s pretty cool. Who doesn’t want to speed through a city filled with alleys and roads in the middle of the day? It is an awesome experience and certainly more exciting than listening to her boss drabble on about how stupid the people she was meeting with were or that Lexa must remember to remind her of something that she doesn’t want to be reminded of later on. Her boss is really inconsistent in her moods.

She is close to crashing a few times but masterfully maneuvers around even the most tight of windows. For a time she wonders if the person next to her was counting on ending up with a driver such as herself because she does hear them take sharp breathes a few times while they are driving particularly fast or drive really close other cars. Thankfully the criminal removes the gun from her head, probably because with all these twists and turns, it became difficult to keep it up while simultaneously holding on for dear life. But the gun is still pointed at her, just not touching her, so small victories.

After a while the sirens die down and the only thing she can truly hear is the sound of the car engine as it spins around. They must have gotten away. For a moment Lexa is proud of herself. She managed to out drive the cops, that is not something most people would be able to say or, well, do. But then the reality of the situation sinks in.

She is in a car,

driving really fast,

towards an unknown location,

with an armed criminal at her side.

Oh. _God._

“How f-” She starts but is immediately interrupted by a gun pressing hard against her chin. She shouldn't have said anything, and she concludes that yes, a gun in the chin was definitely worse than a gun to the temple.

“Shut up!” Well she supposes that is what she gets for trying to make conversation with a criminal, not the best course of action perhaps. “Keep driving, I’ll tell you when to stop.”

So for a good few hours they just sit there in silence driving towards, and later beyond, the outskirts of town. Lexa thinks it would probably be awkward if it wasn’t already life threatening. The fear of imminent death kind of helps cancelling out the awkwardness of it all she supposes. During the time they spend there on the road to nowhere in complete silence Lexa’s mind starts to wander. Back to her. If she is being honestly she was the first thing she thought about when the stranger first pressed the gun against her face. She was dangerously close to once again consider the fact that maybe, if she played her cards right, maybe she would see her again. Those thoughts are ever so present now, now that she is certain that this stranger is not going to hesitate to shoot her those thoughts seems to take over even more.

 

 

The scenery around them has changed, rather than the inner city they are surrounded by a quite beautiful and serene nature environment. She has no idea where they are, she rarely leaves the city limits herself and she is pretty certain that by now they must be somewhere past the stateline or at least really close to it.

When the criminal with a gun pointed at her head finally decides to break this silence they do so by taking of the balaclava.

“Christ this thing is incredibly hot.” Lexa dared to turn her head to look at the person sitting next to her and the first thing she says to this person, after being held hostage by this person for god knows how many hours, being shouted at by this person in a very mean tone and ,yes even after having a gun shoved in her face by this person several times already, the first thing she says is:

“So are you.”

The criminal just stares at her for a moment, which frankly she would probably do to if a stranger called her hot after she took of her balaclava after holding that stranger hostage for hours. Lexa doesn’t really know what to do either but to stare the stranger back in the eye. And this criminal really was hot, not just in the sweaty summer’s heat way, but rather in a ‘wow they are hot’ way and Lexa doesn’t really know what to do in this situation. She has learned that staring is definitely not kind and yet that is all she does right now. Stare into the blue seas of the eyes of the stranger next to her. Of the woman next to her.

“Hey watch the road!” The criminal shouts out and Lexa looks back at the road just in time to make a turn as to avoid driving down a ditch, which maybe wouldn’t have been the worst thing because that might have given her a way to get away. Though considering they are in the middle of nowhere and the sun is going down, yeah, she is probably safer inside the car. Even if that means she is together with a criminal, at least she will not get lost and never find her way back. She always was terrible at orientation, and she is not certain that she would do any better at it while trying to get away from someone with a gun.

“Sorry.” Lexa says, and really? She was apologizing to this criminal now? Is that something you should do? Granted she did almost run the both of them off the road but she is not sure that this person is in any position to demand an apology considering what they have been through. If anything she owe an apology to her.

Lexa looks to the side quickly to see the woman staring at the road, and she realized that she is really beautiful this criminal of hers, even dripping in sweat from wearing a black mask in summer’s heat for hours she is absolutely stunning. And that is a bit worrying to Lexa. Should she really be this attracted to someone who abducted her? Someone who shoved a gun in her face? She is not sure what the correct etiquette in this situation should be, her mother never really prepared her, but she cannot say that what she is currently thinking would be considered within the appropriate limits. She doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, for all she knows this criminal might not even be interested.

Wait… _What?_

“It’s okay.” The criminal says after a while, probably the amount of time it took her heart to stop raising after the crash they were close to experiencing. Which makes Lexa feel really good about herself for some reason, is she already in the need of this person’s approval? A criminal’s approval? These thoughts need to end! This woman literally threatened to kill her not a while ago, on multiple occasions one might point out and Lexa having a thing for bad girls is definitely not an excuse to have inappropriate attractions to literal freaking criminals. She needs to get out of here, before she drives herself crazy.

“For how long am I going to drive us?” She asks after collecting the courage to do so, the gun is away from her face, it had been since they almost crashed for which Lexa was grateful, but that may change if she doesn’t play her cards right. Thankfully this question doesn’t warrant a light punch in the face by gun.

“Just keep driving, we’re almost half way there now” Okay what the hell? She has already been driving for what feels like forever and now this asshole is telling her that they are not even half way there? Screw this!

“No, you know what? Why don’t you drive? This is ridiculous, the cops stopped chasing us hours back what do you even need me for?” Lexa says and she can feel the anger flare up inside of her. Because quite frankly this whole situation was too much for her to handle. She was definitely not up for even more driving. She was tired. She had not eaten since lunch and considering the sundown it was probably at least in the early night. This woman was being entirely unreasonable if she thought that Lexa was going to be able to drive for multiple hours more.

“No you keep on driving, or have you forgotten who has the gun?" Well no she had not forgotten that, since that gun was kind of the reason she had gotten in this situation in the first place. She had taken self defense classes when until she was 14 though none of them included a perpetrator with a gun - damn the kid friendliness of it all.

"Well no, I just do not see the point of me being here that is all." She mutters as she drives down the seemingly neverending highway to hell... Or wherever it is they are going. It's probably hell for Lexa, if her parents are to be believed. And she isn't sure that she is ready for that just yet. So she keeps her mouth shut in the way of complaining, because that seems to only make the gun-person angry.

After a while of silence, thankfully for Lexa not spent with a gun to her face, the blonde criminal decides to speak:

"So I take it you're quite well off." She says glancing at Lexa.

"Why do you say that?" Lexa asks. She is uncertain what to respond with, a straight answer might be the best if she is just trying to probe her on information, to find out if she is useful or not. Or it might get her killed if she speaks the truth, since she might not find her useful if she knew the answer. So she tests the waters a bit, perhaps she is just trying to make light conversation?

"Well first of all your clothes are designer, don't know many who could afford that." She says pointing at her, thankfully not with her gun hand. "And second this car is worth more than what someone on a low income could ever dream of affording."

 _It's not my car_ , she almost say out loud but then remembers. If this person finds out that she is not well off, that she is in fact struggling with afford rent to her crappy one bedroom apartment, located on over what she swears is an illegal drug money laundering operation, she might not be worth anything to her. But on the other hand if she finds out who her parents are then she will definitely take her hostage and probably try and ransom her, which might not work because Lexa's parents are cheap fucks, and that might just be even worse. And there was a reason as to why Elizabeth Swann did not tell Barbossa her real last name, granted she kinda screwed that one up but she definitely had the right idea.

Lexa is unsure which story she should go with, so she decides to improvise hoping those late night classes were worth something.

"I stole it." She finds herself saying and well it wasn't a complete lie. It wasn't her car and what she was currently doing could definitely be classified as stealing. Stealing under threat of losing her life but still definitely stealing.

"Really?" The blonde seems quite taken back by that, definitely not the answer she was expecting though Lexa detects no hint of sarcasm in her remark which might mean that she bought her story. "What about the clothes?"

"Stolen as well." She answers, no going back now, may as well commit to this story completely. She heard somewhere that lies are often more detailed than truths, but she still feel like she needs to throw in some context to the idea of theft she has started. Something to make it seem like she could definitely be a hardened criminal. "Yeah, I work more white collar and clean jobs like, you know, get to know the target before striking. This I am wearing right now? I got this after becoming the mistress of the wife of the CEO for the google office in town, stole it right from under her. Literally, it was on the floor next to the bed." What the hell was she even saying? This is getting a bit out of hand, granted it would be a kind of cool story if it were true. But it's not. The truth is that this is one of those outfits she took from her mother's last time she was there, so technically these were stolen as well. Maybe she was more of a criminal than she had previously considered...

"Well, well." The blonde says laughing at her ridiculous story, or maybe she is laughing at the fact that it's so obviously a lie. Lexa cannot be sure. "I appear to have landed myself a rather experienced criminal I see." Lexa ponders on what she meant by that, because there was a somewhat suggestive nature to it. Hopefully she herself didn't land someone who gets off on cutting the faces of other criminals. Or have a highlander approach to life, you know the whole, 'there can be only one' schtick.

"You could say that." Lexa says without taking her eyes of the road, maybe if she plays along then this person won't want to kill her. If they can bond over this or something, do criminals do that? Bond over their interests? Lexa isn't quite sure.

"Well considering your driving back in the city I did suspect you had some kind of... Talent for this." The blond says, which makes Lexa tighten her grip on the wheel. She doesn't need to know the truth as to why Lexa drives like there is no tomorrow, or where she picked up that talent. Let her think she picked it up as a criminal or something Lexa thinks, that's almost better than the truth.

"Listen." The criminal says after a while of silence between the two of them. "We are going to spend the next few hours together, why don't we get to know each other?" Lexa was unsure how she felt about this. She would probably like to get to know this girl if she met her at a cafe or something. But those are highly different circumstances than the ones they are currently under, she met this woman at gunpoint.

Though maybe if she gets to know her she won't get a bullet in the head? Killing someone you got to know is just rude and probably (or rather hopefully) not something this woman would do, she seems like she'd abide to some form of honor system. Or at least Lexa hopes that she does.

"What do you want to know?" Lexa asks and regrets it, she is going to have to figure out some pretty convincing lies in the a really short amount of time for the next few minutes or longer.

"We can start with the basics, since that makes it easier later, what's your name?" She asks and Lexa feels like lying about her name is definitely not a good idea, since if she calls out to her with a name that's not hers then she will probably forget to react. But... Keeping it to a first name basis is probably a good idea.

"Lexa." She says and looks to the woman next to her. "Yours?"

"Abby." She says smiling. "A pleasure."

“Likewise.” Though that is hardly the truth, considering this Abby person is the one forcing her to drive a stolen car to a destination that is probably across the country, she still has some sort of need to be courteous to her. Hopefully she won’t interpret it as being sarcastic, oh god, what if she did? “So where are you from?” She asks before Abby has a chance to determined whether she was being mocked or not.

“All over.” _That is such a cliché answer_ Lexa thinks...Or wait, did she say that out loud? Considering the look she is currently receiving from her passenger she thinks she might have. Is she really that suicidal that she would sass someone with a gun? Oh god what is she doing…

After a moment of tension Abby smiles and starts laughing. “Yeah I suppose it is.” She says and looks out the window. Lexa dares steal a glance in her direction and notices that she has put her gun away. Or at least is not holding it in her hand or shoving it in her face, which is nice. She notices something else as well. Abby has a backpack in her lap.

“What’s in the backpack?” Lexa feels a bit better about asking her question now that she has made her laugh, even if it was only for a few seconds, and she kinda want to find out what this person is carrying around. It might be a bomb or something. And death by explosion might just be a scarier than death by gunshot.

“What do you think?” Abby asks as she turns around from the window to look at Lexa, who is looking straight out at the road.

“I don’t know, that’s why I asked you.” Lexa says. She has a few ideas of what could be in the bag but she rather hear it from Abby than find out that her guesses at a decapitated head is the correct answer.

“Money from the bank I robbed.”

“You robbed a bank!?” She has no idea why that piece of information is so incredibly shocking to her but for some reason it is. She has been driving around with a bank robber this entire time? She can’t believe this. It feels like she has been lied to, betrayed. Sure she was running away from the police but Lexa had thought that was just because she had murdered someone or something, she was carrying a gun after all. Wait… Since when is murder better than bank robbery in her mind? These kind of thoughts certainly makes Lexa question a lot about herself.

Abby just stares at her in disbelief. “Yeah well what exactly did you think I had done? I mean I was on the run from the police at the time of our… meeting.” That’s certainly one word for it.

“I thought that you had murdered someone, though I suppose the lack of blood on your clothes should have been a clue.” Lexa says, this is such a weird situation to be in. Driving around a virtual stranger whom she met at gunpoint that she thought was a murderer but is actually a bankrobber. Should she not be relieved by this information? A bank robber is probably less inclined to shoot her in the face than a murderer would be and yet… The sense of betrayal and disappointment is hard to get rid off.

“Wait, you thought I was a murderer?” Abby says and looks as her with a look of annoyance. “Do I look like a murderer to you?” Lexa has no idea why she is so offended by this.

“Well I don’t know, do murderers look a certain way?”

“You tell me, since you thought that I was one of them.” Then she pouts, honest to god pouts. Lexa cannot believe this. What kind of weird reality has she entered? There is a bank robber sitting next to her that is upset about the fact that she was perceived as a murderer. This is all so bizarre and like a really shitty episode of the Twilight Zone.

“Well I mean you did shove a gun in my face, excuse me for being a bit presumptuous.” The hours of silence with a gun pointed at her head seemed a lot better than this situation she was currently in. At least there was little to no awkwardness. Lexa kind of wishes that she never would have removed that stupid balaclava because ever since she did she has been swimming in awkwardness.

“I would have shot you.” Abby says after a while of silence.

“What?” Lexa says after letting it sink in, was that a threat? Or was it just stating fact? She could never be certain with this person, not because she was a criminal but because she hadn’t been upfront with what kind of criminal she was. Who does that?

“If I was a murderer.” She says without looking away from the window. “I would have shot you.”

“Okay…?”

“Maybe next time don’t assume you know a person just because they might seem to be a certain way.” Lexa cannot believe this, she is seriously making this about prejudice? That is just ridiculous, she does not have any kind of prejudice - even when it comes to criminals. But she is far too tired to argue and really, what would that argument even archive?

“I’m sorry?” She offers in return, honestly, this is such a weird conversation for her to be in. And this is now the second time she apologizes to someone who kidnapped her, she must have already entered the beginning stages of Stockholm Syndrome.

“Apology accepted.”

They share the silence for a while and Lexa starts to contemplate this new information she has been fed. It’s quite a lot to take in in all honestly and she was never really expecting to get into a conversation that awkward with a criminal in her life. Then again she hadn’t really planned on driving a bank robber across several state lines either, life is certainly full of surprises. Then a realisation hits her.

“So wait you were never actually going to shoot me?”

“What?”

“My life was never actually in danger?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You kind of did. See if you weren’t going to shoot me when we met then I do not think that you were ever really planning on doing so.” She starts thinking and something hits her. “If you would have shot me when I was driving you would have only suffered for it.”

“What?”

“See because if I would have been shot, I would have died, and then you would be stuck in a car without a driver which, considering how fast I was driving, would have probably ended in disaster.” She feels like she has laid the last part of a puzzle and it both makes her feel a sense of accomplishment but also anger. Did she do all of this driving for nothing?

“But you would be dead.”

“That is true but I have to ask, why did you not just take the car?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why didn’t you throw me out? I mean you didn’t really need me, I am just a random person who was in a car. You could have easily thrown me to the ground and stolen the car from me. Why didn’t you?”

“Why do you care?”

“It just seems like an incredibly amount of extra work, I mean now you have to take care of me as well. Make sure that I don’t tell anyone. Or kill me, but then you have to get rid of the body and since you are not a professional murderer I doubt you have much experience in that field.”

She is silent for a while and Lexa wonders if she is just going to stay quiet but then she says:

“I can’t drive.”

“What?”

“I can’t drive.”

“Like you don’t have a license?”

“No, like I don’t know how to drive.”

“So what you are saying is that you are dependent on me in this? To get wherever it is that you want to get, you kind of need me?”

She sighs and says after a while. “Yeah pretty much.”

So now that she is in some what of a power position she takes the opportunity to utilize it. “Then I decide that we are stopping some place to eat.”

“You do not get to do that.” The bank robber says and turns to Lexa. "I am still the one with the gun."

“Yes I know but I am in the driver's seat.” Lexa says and she has no idea where this new found confidence and defiance is coming from. Maybe it’s from the fact that she believes that she has removed the imminent threat to her life. This person was after all a bank robber and those tend to kill only when they need to, and she is pretty certain that she needs to keep her alive now that it has been established that she can't drive on her own. “And besides we are running out of gas. We are going to have to stop sooner or later.”

“What’s stopping you from running away once we stop? Or better yet what’s stopping you from calling the cops? I am not going to prison because you wanted pancakes.” Abby says though Lexa is certain that she is at least half as hungry as she is, considering she hasn’t eaten during their time on the road either. Though Lexa gets where she is coming from, she just needs to convince her that her worries are unneeded. And then she can eat. That should be easy, Lexa is good at arguing.

“I would never eat pancakes, those are disgusting.” Abby looks at her with a look that screams of annoyance, if that is even possible. “Right, not your point, but consider this. I have no idea where we are, I have nowhere to go and I sure as hell am not going to hitchhike, that will get a girl killed, and I need to get this car back to... To my dealer otherwise she'll kill me just the same as you."

That was a semi-lie, she needed to keep the car, otherwise she would lose her job and that would mean she would lose everything. But Abby didn’t know about her job so she made something but that would fit her quite newly assumed criminal persona. Regardless, what she said about needing the car was no less true. She needed this car and Abby needed her to drive her. Though she might be able to get a message to the store owner, get them to call the police or something.

"So what do you propose?" Abby says and raises her eyebrow.

“I propose we stop by the next exit, get some gas and we go and buy hot dogs or something at the store right next to it.”

“Alright.”

_Yeah._

“But I am going to go with you everywhere, just to make sure. You have already seen my face and I can't risk that you run to the cops.”

 _Unyeah_.

“Of course.” Yeah, maybe it was too much to hope that she would let her go and get something to eat on her own, and in the process make sure that someone called the cops, but at least this way she’ll get something to eat. And that is all that she really cares about right now. God she is starving.

\------

Lexa pulls the car over by the gas stop and a few minutes later she is getting out of the car, for the first time in hours she is able to stand up again and god it feels good. She is pretty sure it’s been years since she felt this good about just standing up. The sun is almost all down but since it’s in the middle of June it’s still pretty light out.

“Alright don't go anywhere.” Abby calls out. “I am just going to put this pump in and I do not want to turn around to see you hauling ass.”

“Don’t worry so much, I am not going anywhere.” Yet. She thinks, but does not voice out loud because that would be stupid. She has actually managed to spot someone some ten or so meters away. A guy standing by his car and a plan enters her mind. So she tried pretty hard to get his attention while Abby is busy and to get him closer so that she can talk to him. She highly doubts that Abby would shoot someone for just talking to her so she waves him over while she isn’t looking.

“Hi!” She says to him when he is close enough to hear. “How are you?” Abby turns around and shoots daggers at Lexa, she is going to kill her for this but she has to try. She cannot be stuck in that car driving to god knows where for many more hours, she just cannot. She needs to get back and this may just be the way.

“Why hi there little lady.” Oh no. She immediately regrets this, this guy is definitely a creep. Who else uses phrases like 'little lady'? No way she is getting in a car with him anytime soon. He is standing uncomfortably close to her now so she backs away. “Where are you going?” God, this was definitely a mistake. But before he can do anything Abby comes to her rescue.

“What are you doing?” Abby is standing next to them now looking really angry and she is sure that this is not going to end well. He turns around to face her.

“I’m just talking to the little lady right here, is there going to be a problem?” The man asks and walks toward Abby with determined steps. Oh god this is definitely not going to end well.

“Leave her alone” She says back.

“What are you her girlfriend or something?" Maybe under different circumstances, Lexa thinks to herself. "I was just going to have a little talk with her, nothing that concerns you.” He says and Abby is just about to grab the gun she has by her side but he beats her to it and punches her in the face which causes her to fall to the ground. Her gun is flung to the side and she is about to try and grab it when he himself whips out a gun under his shirt. Lexa screams because this, this is not what she was counting on happening. Though maybe she should have, maybe this was not a plan she had thought out all that thoroughly.

“Now I ask you again.” He says pointing the gun at Abby who is staring back up at him while wiping her sleeve over her mouth to get rid of the blood. “Is there going to be a problem?” He is going to shoot, Lexa can tell, something in his eyes. And if he shoots then that means that she is going to be left out here alone with this guy and she already has gotten more than enough quality time with him. She goes not fancy waking up in the backside of his trunk nor does she want to have a gun in the face again, especially by this guy. No there has to be another way... She must do something.

So she does. She does something incredibly stupid, or incredibly brave. She runs toward and grabs the gun that Abby dropped and she points it towards the guy. He hasn't taken his aim or eyes off of Abby so he doesn't notice her, to get his attention she has to shout.

“Let her go or I’ll-” The gun in her hand goes off and the man falls to the ground with a thud. Deep red liquid starts pouring out over the ground and falling through the cracks in the pavement. She falls backwards to the ground and drops the gun in the process. Oh. God.

“Holy fucking shit you shot him!” The blonde just stares up at Lexa in disbelief.

“Oh my god Abby, I didn’t mean to I swear!” Lexa screams and stares at the now motionless man in front of her. It feels like her entire body is shaking. What has she done? "It was an accident!"

“Yeah? Well tell that to him.” Abby says and points to the recently dead person lying down on the pavement. Then she looks up to Lexa “I mean thank you but holy shit.” She is still lying on the ground so she crawls toward the guy, he lies face down so she flips him over. Blood is pouring out from his chest. Lexa thinks that she is probably trying to find the wound but suddenly she lets him go and sits up staring at Lexa. “Oh my god…”

“What?” Lexa says staring back at Abby and the body lying a dead on the ground. "God there is so much blood..." And there really is, more blood than Lexa has ever seen before and it's making her a bit woosie.

“Lexa.”

“What is it?”

“Lexa, this guy was a cop.”

  
  


_Two days later..._

The office was rather quiet at this time of the day. Almost all of the working staff had gone home to their families, all except for two. One of them was detective Marcus Kane. He was still there filing the last bit of paperwork for a case he had closed earlier that day.

It had been a rather uneventful day, especially for New York, only one reported mugging. (where the mugger had been one of the regular faces so he had been caught hours later)

There was still the case of the bank robbery that took place a couple days back where the perpetrator had gotten away. Though some of their best men were on it, Marcus was not one of them. Not that he let that bother him, not too much at least.

And not that he cared enough to be all that caught up on that particular case, he had cases of his own to work through. One of the involving an arson on a privately owned garage. Though it seemed that that was probably caused by the fact that it had been filled with flammable material that could catch fire on its own. He had argued as much with the owner, however she had insisted on an investigation regardless claiming that some of her competitors might have caused it. Which meant a bit of extra paperwork for Kane, which was why he was staying late. Though he was almost all finished up now so he put the last of it in the folder for tomorrow, it should only take some fifteen minutes in the morning and he is a bit too tired to work on it now. So he packs his bag, puts on his coats and is ready to call it a day.

"Marcus, we have a lead." Of course, the moment he is done with one thing and on his way to leave - Jaha demands his attention. It’s not the first time and it certainly will not be the last.

"A lead on what, sir?" He asks as he turns around and drops his bag on the floor, might as well because when the boss is this up in arms there is no getting away. Marcus tries really hard to not sound or look too annoyed, though that is increasingly difficult as these even-more-later-than-expected nights keep piling up.

"On the Ark case." Thelonious says as he closes the door to his office behind him. He walks toward Kane and grabs his shoulder, as he has a tendency to do. "Marcus, call Abby and tell her that we have a lead on her daughter."

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After saving Clarke's live Lexa feels the first impact of what her actions (however accidental) have caused.

One of the things that Clarke had considered when getting in the car of a random rich girl and through gun threats used her as a getaway after robbing a bank, was that someone getting shot was definitely a possibility. Either the girl, herself, random bystander caught in the crossfire or some of the cops. In her line of business that was something that you had to face and Clarke was nothing if not a realist. She knew it was dangerous and she knew it was almost unavoidable that someone would get shot.

As it turned out she had been right. Someone did get shot, a cop. Only not by her.

A cop got shot by the girl that Clarke had just a few minutes earlier held at gunpoint herself. The innocent bystander had turned into a murderer. And it was all kind of Clarke’s fault. If she hadn’t screwed up and dropped her damn gun in the first place then none of that would have happened. No one would have needed to get shot.

But even before that things hadn't exactly gone according to plan. Before committing the bank robbery Clake had a get-away car planned, she wasn't so unprofessional as to not have an escape plan, the problem was that they had bailed on her. She is certain that someone must have informed them that she was a part of the Ark (or, well, formerly a part of the Ark… it was a long story) because it's not like she wasn't paying them well enough for doing their job. She had offered as much as a 15% share of the money - which is more than enough considering the amount she was suppose to get away with.

Problem was that when the car didn't show she had to improvise. Quickly because the cops were on their way. And she couldn't just steal a car, she knew how to do it because Raven had taught her way back when. So that wasn't the problem. The problem was that she was not able to drive. Not after... Well she just couldn't drive.

She had to leave most of the money, because she had planned on getting help loading it into the damn car and without that help she could only get a small backpacked filled with money out of there. The amount she was unsure of but hopefully it would be enough once she got to D.C. If it wasn't well... Then she'd just have to rob another bank or something, simple as that. But that was a problem that she'd have to deal with then, now all she needed to focus on was getting there.

Clarke hadn't bought the girl’s story of living a life of crime one bit, it was obvious this girl was from money. However Clarke has to respect someone who was able to lie to a person shoving a gun in their face so she had decided to play along. She did need her to drive after all, otherwise she wouldn't get to D.C. And she needed to get there. Which seemed to be getting harder and harder.

Maybe forcing this girl to drive her all the way had been a mistake, she should have realized that the journey would take too long and that they would need to stop on the way. She should have thought about the fact that they would get hungry and tired. She should have considered they would run out of gas, because _of course_ they would run out of gas!

She should have taken a lot of things into consideration, none of which she did.

One of those things that Clarke should have taken into consideration was apparently the fact that her hostage would commit murder right in front of her to save her. Though honestly that was not something she should have had to take into consideration. Because the chance of that happening was incredibly small, and yet it had happen. That was the situation she was currently in. And she had no idea what to do.

The scene was quite odd. Two girls both half lying down on the ground, next to two guns, a dead off-duty police officer and the pool of blood pouring out of said cop at a regular gas stop in the middle of nowhere. This was definitely not an outcome that Clarke had prepared herself for.

When what had happened had sunk in Clarke got up on her feet again. She was able to think straight and she suddenly had the realisation that she needed to get out of there, that they needed to get out of there. She looked over at Lexa who was still sitting on the ground just staring at the cop that she had recently shot down.

“Lexa come on!” Clarke shouts at her. “We have to get out of here now!” They really did, someone could have seen them, the cop might not have been here alone. They needed to get out of here as fast as they could before someone else decided to join in.

Lexa isn't moving so Clarke runs up to her and sits down in front her her effectively blocking her from seeing the dead body. "Lexa we have to go."

"Abby I killed him." She says and just stares down at the ground.

"Yeah, you did. But he would have killed me if you hadn't." Clarke says and grabs her shoulder in an attempt to get Lexa to meet her eyes. She doesn’t. Instead she just continues to stare at the ground. "Hey, you saved my life. I won't just leave you here."

And she wouldn't, and not just because she needed Lexa to drive, but because she knew that if she left her then she would never forgive herself. This girl she had held at gunpoint, forced to drive for miles and shouted at (granted that might not quite be on the same level as the first two, still, it was rude). That girl had saved her life for some reason. That debt stands. Lexa had been right about one thing.

Clarke did operate on some kind of honor system.

"I'll get you out of here." Clarke says as she lifts Lexa up to her feet. She just keeps mumbling incoherently, the words Clarke can make out are 'killed' and 'fault'. The rest she can pretty much figure out on her own.

Clarke realizes that won't be able to reach out to Lexa, she is in shock. Clarke has no idea what to do but she has to do something, she has to get them out of there. Lexa can't drive in this condition. Clarke is going to have to be the one doing the driving and she knows it.

God fucking damnit! Clarke was not ready, she was so not ready! It's too soon. It's always too fucking soon.

But she doesn't really have a choice because all of a sudden Lexa just starts screaming. So loud that she is sure to attract the attention of someone. Clarke panics and tries to get her to shut up. It doesn't work, because of course it doesn't work. Lexa is in shock and a few words aren't going to calm her down.

Clarke has to think on her feet. So she does and punches Lexa square in the jaw, hard. She falls unconscious towards the ground but Clarke manages to catch her before she hits the pavement.

Well. Now she definitely can't be the one driving. Maybe this wasn't the best idea.

"Hey, what's-" Oh. _Shit_. The store owner, Clarke had completely forgotten about him. "Oh my god!" He screams and Clarke turns to face him but he is sprinting back into the store. Through the window Clarke can see that he is getting something behind the counter.

A shotgun.

Now they _really_ have to leave. She has no choice. She has to drive. She hopes to god that she won't suffer any violent flashbacks like she did when she found herself behind the wheel right after... After she just couldn't drive anymore.

No choice. The owner is on his way. Clarke opens the car door, throws Lexa into the passenger seat and closes the door. Then quickly seats herself in the driver seat. She ignites the engine and her heart starts beating even faster. Whether that depends on the shotgun wielding owner or the fact that she is going to drive a car again for the first time in two years she isn't sure. Maybe it’s a bit of both.

No time to think, she puts her foot down on the pedal and speeds away almost hitting the owner and definitely hitting the dead guy considering the thud and weight shift. Not her intention but she never was the best at U-turns. Especially not under this much stress.

She can hear the owner shout at her from behind and she hears the gun go off and ducks instinctively. The hale from the gun hits the rear of the car and Clarke floors it.

 

She drives for hours after that. Not daring to stop because if she does she knows that she won't be able to start driving again. She doesn’t really know where she is driving either but she is definitely off-course. Now it’s going to take even longer to get to D.C but she doesn’t care. As long as she gets far far away from that gas stop and as long as she doesn’t stop driving.

"Wh-what happened?" She hears from the backseat, Lexa seems to be back from hit induced unconsciousness. Good. Or maybe not. She isn't really sure. Considering all that has happened. And that Clarke punched her in the face. Hopefully she doesn’t remember that. She was after all pretty out of it.

"Quite a lot of things." Clarke says and looks at her through the rearview mirror. "How are you feeling?" She really hopes that she didn't do any unnecessary damage to her, she does have kind of a mean right hook.

"Like someone punched me in the face." Lexa says and Clarke can't help but to snort when she does. "What’s funny? Was I in a fight? Did I win?"

"What do you remember?" Clarke concludes that it's probably best if she doesn't tell her what happened. Better to let her remember in her own pace.

"That you shoved a gun in my face, forced me to drive you out of New York City and then..." Lexa goes quiet and then the look of realisation falls over her features. "Oh my god... I killed him."

"It wasn't your fault." Clarke tries, because it really wasn't. She was just protecting someone else, it was in defence.

"Of course it was!" Lexa exclaims and tries to sit up but fails. Clarke guesses that she is still a bit too light headed from the shock and the punch. "Abby, I shot him dead. I shot him. I-"

"Hey hey hey! Calm down!" Clarke says and turns her head around to face Lexa for a few seconds. She can't take her eyes of the road for too long. She wouldn’t dare to. "You did it to protect me, it's not your fault."

Lexa lets out a short maniacal laugh and drags her hands down her face. "Yeah, I shot down a police officer to protect a criminal." She says and looks up at Clarke "Obviously that is completely justified." Lexa lies back down in the backseat with her hands covering her face.

Clarke is silent for a while but then she decides to give in and ask the question that's been eating away at her for the last few hours.

"Why did you?"

"What?"

"Why did you shoot him?" Clarke asks. "I mean why did you save my life? After what I did to you."

"I don't know." She says, Clarke is a bit disappointed by that answer but not surprised. She should have expected as much, Lexa was probably just acting on instinct and not out of some other reason.

"Well I suppose it doesn't matter now." Clarke says and sighs. "What matters is that we have to get somewhere safe where the police won't find us and-"

"Wait what?" Lexa says and sits up straight. "What are you talking about?"

"We have to get away from the police, I thought that was obvious considering our situation?"

"'Our situation'? Oh no no no, there is no 'our', you kidnapped me and held me hostage for god knows how many hours! You are the one on run from the police not me!"

"Yeah? Well you were the one who murdered a police officer not a few hours ago." Had this girl not realized that what she had done would have dire consequences? How thick was she?

"It was an accident! I didn't mean for that to happen, I am innocent!" Lexa exclaims.

"Well, someone certainly changes their minds quickly." Clarke says and laughs a little because really this girl was ridiculous. "First you are hellbent on blaming yourself for his death and then you start yelling at me that it was an accident? That you are innocent?"

"Well I don't know, but I am not going to run from the police for a murder that wasn't my fault! It was an accident, they'll have to understand that." She says and starts fidgeting with her hands.

And at that statement Clarke cannot do anything other than laugh. This girl was just ridiculous and her sense of how the world works was just adorable.

"It's not funny!"

"No it's hilarious, you actually think that the police are going to believe that?" Clarke says after her laughter has calmed down a bit.

"Well... Yes." She says and goes quiet for a while before saying. "I mean they have to right? I can't go to jail for an accident?"

"Don't be to sure about that." Clarke says, because she knows that Lexa's situation is not one that will be filed under 'accidental'. No it'll go straight into the 'murder' folder.

"They have no proof!" Lexa suddenly exclaims. "They have no proof that I shot him! They cannot throw me in jail if they don't have any proof right?"

Clarke thinks back to the scene of crime. She had forgotten to grab the guns. And then there was the store owner, she wasn't sure how much he'd seen. And there might have been cameras there. So yeah, they definitely had proof. Incriminating proof.

"They had cameras." Clarke says, only half a lie because she is pretty sure they did anyway and she feels like that is something that will get Lexa to understand that if she turns herself over, she will go to jail.

"What." Lexa says and Clarke can see the crushing realisation fall over her features.

"They have proof." Clarke says and tightens her grip on the wheel. "You will go to jail Lexa." She pauses and looks back at Lexa through the mirror. "Unless you come with me."

Lexa doesn’t respond and Clarke doesn’t press her.

\------------

_“Clarke!” He shouts at her. “Get us the fuck out of here now!”_

_“I am trying.” She screams back. “Just hold on a while longer!”_

_“There is no more time, we have to go now!”_

_She is getting desperate, the car isn't starting and she needs it to. Otherwise she'll get them all killed or worse, thrown in jail. Though considering all they've done she doubts that they'll get any justice that is not served from the barrell of a gun._

_"Come on." She whispers as she tries to start again. A prayer sent out to whomever is listening. "Please."_

_Suddenly the car starts and she can breathe again. They are going to make it._

_“I’ve got it!” She exclaims. “Let’s go!”_

_She did it. She is getting them out of there and they are going to make it._

_They are going to make it._

\------------

“So how are we going to do this?” Is the first thing Lexa says after not having said anything since Clarke offered her to come with her.

"How are we going to do what?"

"This." Lexa pointed to the two of them. "How are we going to get away? I am assuming that you have a plan?"

Of course she has a plan.

"Of course I have a plan." Clarke says. She decides to just leave it at that. This girl doesn’t need to know the plan, just that she has got one. But of course she won’t just let it go. Clarke can’t blame her, she wouldn’t just leave it at that either.

"Well... Care to share this plan of yours?" Lexa asks as she stares out the window. Clarke sighs.

"We go to Washington D.C." She says and she is sure that Lexa is about to say something back but before she does Clarke continues. "I have friends there. They'll help."

"They'll help me?" She asks and looks back at Clarke. Clarke decides to shoot a glance at her and the look in Lexa’s eyes is so sincere it’s almost heartbreaking. She probably thinks that Clarke will screw her over. Which Clarke may or may not do, she hasn’t really decided yet. But this girl did save her life. That debt stands.

"Yeah." Clarke says

“Alright.” Lexa says and breathes out slowly.

“We are going to have to take in on a motel for the night, I am dead tired and I am guessing that you are as well.” Clarke says and turns to Lexa. “There is a motel a fifteen minutes from here. Oh and they probably have some sort of vending machine if you wanna get something to eat.” Clarke smiles at Lexa through the rearview mirror trying to get her in a bit or a better mood.

Lexa only nods in response. The coming fifteen minutes they spend in comfortable silence.

Clarke knows that it’s better they do not talk about it. Because she is pretty sure that her friends won’t help Lexa. Hell. Clarke isn’t sure that they’ll even help her.

 

When she pulls into the driveway Clarke notices that there are a lot of parking spaces. In fact all of them are free. That’s probably not a good sign. But she is too tired to keep on driving. And who knows how long it will be until they find the next vacant motel? No. This will have to do.

“Okay so how should we do this?” Lexa asks as Clarke turns off the engine.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asks and looks to the girl next to her.

“You know, how do we get the room?” She asks. “Should I come with you? Or should I stay behind to make sure that the coast is clear?”

Clarke has to hold back a grin because really, this girl is so green it’s hilarious. The look in Lexa’s eyes is just so intense and focused that Clarke decides to not laugh her in the face. Because that would be a bit mean and it was better if she just tried to be nice to this girl, that means not laughing at Lexa when she is being a tad bit silly. Which Clarke then realizes might be a hard task to undertake, but she will try at least.

“No, you can follow me in, just let me do the talking and it’ll be fine.” Clarke says and opens the side door letting herself out. She doesn’t get far however before she is yanked back into her seat by Lexa’s, way stronger than anticipated, grip around her arm.

“No wait.” Lexa says as she keeps holding Clarke’s arm. Which Clarke must admit feels a bit weird but not entirely unwelcome, it’s been a long time since anyone touched her in any sort of way. “Are you sure about this? Shouldn’t we have some kind of plan? Or if you do have a plan could you share it with me?”

“Don’t worry so much Lexa. I always have a plan. Just trust me okay?”

“Well, that’s just it. I don’t know if I do.” Lexa says and Clarke realizes that she is asking a lot from this girl. Trust was not something she herself did so easily, how could she assume that this girl would be any different? Especially after everything that they’ve been through?

“Alright well then I am asking you to take a leap of faith, just this once.” Clarke says and uses her free hand to grab the girl’s hand that is still inexplicably holding her arm. Lexa stares her down but after a while she lets go of Clarke’s arm and sighs.

“Well I suppose I don’t have much choice.” Lexa says. “But I am coming with you, I do not want to stay in this car a moment longer than necessary.”

 

"Why hello there mate!" Clarke says and whips out her best australian accent. She had pretty much perfected it during her first try so she is pretty certain that she must have been australian in a previous life or something. "We'd like to get a room for the two of us."

The boy sitting in the lobby (if you could even call it that, if so it was the most minimalistic lobby Clarke had ever seen) shoots his head up from the newspaper he was reading and smiles at them. Clarke smiles back to be polite, and to get into her new persona as a possible.

"Of course." He answers and starts booting up his computer. It looks ancient so naturally it takes forever for him to get it working.

"Thank you." Clarke says and smiles at him, again, this is probably more than she has smiled in the last year combined. It feels incredibly fake.

"I like your accent, where you guys from?"

Before Clarke is able to say anything Lexa butts in, and does so in a surprisingly great australian accent.

"We're from Sydney originally, but we are on a road trip together through the states." Lexa says and touches Clarke's shoulder. "My friend over here has been wanting to take this trip for ages so we just figured what the hell right? Gotta live while we're young isn’t that what they say?"

Clarke was quite impressed but also a bit annoyed because she had specifically told Lexa not to speak. Next time she'll definitely stay in the car. Not that there will be a next time but still. The point stands.

"Well I hope that you're enjoying it so far." He says and winks, actually winks, at Lexa. Which makes Clarke feel incredibly incline towards punching him in the face for some reason. She doesn't of course, she still haven't gotten the room and punching the guy in charge of getting her it might not be the best course of action.

"We are." She says shortly and steps in between Lexa and the guy. "Now about the room."

"Yeah, uh yes of course, just gotta wait until the computer is up." He says and points to the humming fossil beside him. "In the mean time there isn't any harm in getting to know each other right?"

There might be. Clarke thinks to herself, she had some serious irrational anger geared toward this guy and his slimy smile. She rather not stay here long enough for him to get to know either of them.

"Certainly not." Lexa says and steps out from behind Clarke smiling at him. Yep, she is definitely staying in the car next time.

"What's your name?" He asks Lexa and keeps smiling like a fucking idiot at her. God Clarke hates this guy, who does he think he is? Smiling like that at Lexa? It was just… Well annoying and Clarke didn’t like guys who smiled like that at girls in general. it had nothing to do with the fact that it was Lexa. She would have felt this annoyed if it was any girl in Lexa’s position. Really.

"Lexa." She says before Clarke has the ability to stop her. Lexa should definitely not be using her own name, that is like criminal 101, and Clarke would definitely have to talk about it to her later.

"That's a nice name." He says.

"Thanks!" Lexa says and smiles at him. God this was grossing Clarke out.

"You got a number to go with it?" He says and winks at Lexa yet again, and Clarke feels the very strong temptation to introduce her fist to his jaw.

"She doesn't." Clarke says and yet again steps in front of Lexa. She stares him down and then he drops his eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" he starts but Clarke cuts him off. Lord knows where he was going with that sentence, Clarke doesn’t really want to find out. As long as this little game between him and Lexa stops. Shortly.

"It doesn't matter." She says and then takes her eyes off of him and notices the computer is up and running. "I think it's time to get the room for us now don't you?"

"O-of course." He says nervously and starts typing on it. "What's the name?"

"Abby." Clarke answers. "Abby Collins."

 

Clarke unlocks the door to their room and-

“Oh you have _got_ to be fucking kidding me…” Clarke utters as she stares at the gigantic bed standing in the middle of the room. Of course. Of fucking course.

“What is it?” Lexa asks from behind her.

“We got a double bed.” Clarke says and moves out of the way to point at the huge ass bed in the room. She cannot do anything but assume that that creepy asshole at the counter did this on purpose. What was is with straight boys and their fascination with girls sleeping together?

In the same bed! Not _sleeping_ sleeping together. They would never do that. Not in a million years. Not Lexa and her. No. Never. The very idea is just… No Clarke will not even go there. It won’t happen. This is ridiculous.

“I do not see the problem.” Lexa says and Clarke cannot believe what she is hearing. Is this girl being serious right now? Probably, because she doesn’t seem to understand how to make jokes.

“Really?!” She exclaims. “You do not see this as a problem?”

“No?” She just looks at Clarke with a questioning look and Clarke looks back at her with her eyes squinted trying to figure out her intent. “I’m sorry should I? Because I don’t care either way, as long as there is a bed then it’s all good to me. As long as you are not one of those people who hoard the covers I can deal.” Lexa says, walks towards the bed and sits down at the edge of it.

“No but…” Clarke considers arguing this point further but Lexa’s attitude towards this entire situation makes that seem a bit like hitting her head against a brick wall. Pointless and it will probably only result in Clarke getting a killer headache. “Alright nevermind.”

“Good.” Lexa says and stands up again. “Now I am going to get something out of the vending machine we passed on the way up because I am starving, you want anything?”

“No I’m good.” That was probably a lie. She wasn’t really hungry right now but she hadn’t eaten since this morning so she should probably eat something. But she was too tired to even think about something to eat.

“Okay well I’ll be back in a bit.” Lexa says and exits the room.

After she has left Clarke thinks that she maybe should have gone with her. What if she runs away? But those thoughts quickly leave her mind. No way. They were in this together now. They had to be. She had to give a little trust to this girl. Because she was sure that Lexa had put a lot in her, she had to. Because Clarke was the one, perhaps the only one, who could help her.

Or at least that's what she was certain that Lexa thought. And Clarke really hoped that she would be able to do so. Because she would not be able to live with herself if she let down someone who had saved her life. Even if it had been by accident. The debt still stood and she would repay it. She really hoped that she would be able to at least. There was no guarantee.

Life is rarely comes with guarantees.

 

During the time Lexa was away on her vending machine quest Clarke decided to take a moment to breathe and, as she tends to do, reflect. This had been an incredibly eventful day, in a lot of ways that Clarke had not imagined at all. Everything that had happened after getting into the car with Lexa had been an utter surprise. Lexa herself had been a surprise.

Never in a million years would she expect her to save her life. That is just one detail that she will probably be hung up on for her entire existence. Because even if it was as Lexa claims, an accident, she still got the gun from the ground, pointed at it at the guy, and shouted at him to get his attention. She still tried to save her. Even if the murder was unintentional. Clarke really tried to be rational about it all. To try and understand from a logical standpoint why Lexa would have done it but she just couldn’t. Her thoughts were all over the place and none of those places where the least bit rational. All she knew was that she had been incredibly close to death today and that the reason she was still alive was because her hostage had decided to save her. Was it dumb luck that she chose her in the first place by the bank or was it something else?

These train of thoughts Clarke really wanted to avoid because she was not one to believe in the supernatural and unexplained. And she certainly did not believe in something as ridiculous as destiny. Those were all childish ideals and not something a grown woman should put her faith in. And yet… She could not help but to feel as though there was something more to all of this. Something that she could not explain. And that made her head spin.

Clarke closes her eyes for a while and falls into light sleep.

 

“I didn’t know what you’d like. And I figured you would want something since we both have not eaten since we met.” Lexa says barging in and throws everything she is holding in her arms at the bed. Clarke jumped back into consciousness. “So I got a little of everything. Just take what you’d like but don’t you dare touch the mound bars, those are mine. Oh and sorry for throwing it all at you, it was getting a little heavy and I didn’t know you were asleep.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Clarke says and rubs her eyes. “And you can keep your mound bars, those things are disgusting.”

“Whatever you say. More for me then.” Lexa says and sits down on the bed facing Clarke with the candy, chips and what-nots lying in between them. She takes the wrapper off of one of those disgusting treats and shovels it into her mouth.

“How did you manage to afford all of this?” Clarke says, she cannot recall that she gave Lexa any money on her way down. Maybe she had money of her own or something.

“I just used some of the money you stole.” She says and Clarke shoots straight up like an arrow from her previous slouchy half-sitting-half-lying down position.

“You did what?!” She screams at Lexa. This girl was an idiot! Had she not the common courtesy to ask before she took? And yes Clarke realizes that incredibly irony of that train of thought considering it’s about stolen money but still. This was not okay behavior!

“You mean you couldn't spare 20 dollars?” Lexa asks and looks at Clarke with a questioning look. “There is a fortune in that bag.”

“It’s not about the amount!” Clarke yells back at her as she stands up from the bed. Mostly because it’s really hard to be angry sitting down for her, she needs to be able to work around. To really express her angry feelings. “It’s about you taking money from me. I need that money and you are not allowed to just take from it.”

“Okay calm down.” Lexa says and stands up herself.

“I am completely calm!” Clarke screams back and when as she does, she realizes that she isn’t, in fact, completely calm. That’s embarrassing. “Okay maybe I am not calm, but if you understood where I was coming from you wouldn't be either. I need that money, all of it. I can’t tell you why just yet but just…” She was about to say ‘trust me’ again. But she stops herself. She has already asked this girl to trust her once and she didn’t. After this little outburst chances are she isn’t going to trust her anymore than she did the last time.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Lexa says after a while, when Clarke cannot figure out a way to end that sentence. “But do not yell at me for not knowing about things you won’t tell me.”

“Alright I’m sorry about that.” Clarke says and deflates from her anger mode. Maybe she should have told Lexa about it beforehand. After all how could she know how important the money was? She hadn’t even told her.

Besides even if she kept all the money in the backpack intact it still would not be enough. The other briefcases that she had to leave behind would have made up for… everything. But the amount she had in the backpack? Yeah she was fucking delusional if she thought that that would be enough.

Blowing up at Lexa wouldn’t change that and she knew it. She just needed someone to be angry at for something that she herself had screwed up. it wasn’t Lexa’s fault. It was her own.

“Abby.” Lexa says after a while of silence and Clarke gives her a confused look in response. Why would she be using that name for h- Oh right! She had told her that that was her name! Yeah she definitely had to fix that… Otherwise she’ll just be incredibly confused half the time.

But maybe it doesn't matter. As soon as they get to D.C. they’ll be out of each others lives. Hopefully.

“Uh… yeah?” Clarke says after a mild pause. Lexa raised an eyebrow at her as she answered, whatever that meant.

“I think that we should eat and then go to sleep. It is clear that neither of us are thinking straight. We are both hungry and tired and after the day we’ve had?” She says and pauses. “I think that we deser- need a rest.” Yeah. Clarke would feel awkward about using that expression as well considering everything that happened. She just nods in response and starts shoving cheetos in her mouth. God. She really was starved.

"So what's really your name?" Lexa asks after a while of silent eating. Clarke looks up at her with a questioning look.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"I'm not stupid. Your name is not Abby." Lexa says.

"How'd you figure?" Clarke had to ask, because this was certainly an interesting twist. And she really wanted to know how Lexa had figured it out.

"Well first of all you never really react to 'Abby' when I refer to you as such." That's obvious though Clarke thought that she had gotten better at it. Evidently not. "And of course the more obvious fact that Abby was the name you gave to the clerk. No experienced criminal would ever give their real name to a random clerk, that's like criminal 101."

Clarke had to admit that she was thoroughly impressed by this girl. Maybe this rich girl with a faux criminal persona turned accidental murderer was a bit more adept at these things than Clarke had initially thought.

"You're right, my name isn't Abby." Clarke says and takes a sip of the cola Lexa had gotten her. Or them but she had claimed it as her own. "It's Clarke."

"Clarke." Lexa repeats, pauses for a while, and then nods. "Yes, that fits you better. Clarke."

"Yeah… Feel free to stop saying my name anytime now." Clarke says and rolls her eyes at Lexa.

"I am just getting used to it, Clarke." Of course she had to say her name once more there, it makes Clarke smile a bit. Because she kind of likes how Lexa says her name. Also it's quite nice to hear her name without a 'you fucking bitch' behind it, that so rarely happens these days.

"Alright then, just don't use it when we are around other people. I can't risk it." Clarke says.

"Of course." Lexa says and nods again.

"Oh and while we are at it, you should use another name, an alias, as well." Clarke says and puts down the coke bottle on the table behind her.

"Why?" Lexa asks as she eats another one of her disgusting mound bars.

"You're joking right?"

"I rarely joke, Clarke." Lexa says back and, yeah, Clarke definitely believes her there. So she decides to be blunt with her and just tell her where she was coming from.

"Lexa, you killed someone. Don't you think that they will find out your identity? Christ, they are probably looking for you right now." Clarke says and sighs. "Anyway, the point is that it's safer for us, both of us, if we use aliases."

Lexa is quiet for a while but then nods and says. "I suppose I understand."

"Good." Clarke says and smiles at her.

They don’t say much to each other after that. Once they’ve finished eating they both tuck themselves into opposites sides of the bed and go to sleep without wishing each other a good night. Maybe because they were too tired to do so. Or maybe because they both knew that this would not be a good night.

 

The next morning they make sure to get up early and pack what’s left of the candy and junk food from yesterday into the car before they speed away.

Lexa is the one driving this time. She still hasn’t asked about the fact that Clarke had said that she couldn’t drive but clearly demonstrated otherwise. For which Clarke is grateful, she really doesn’t want to get into that story now.

“I think that we can get all the way to D.C. today.” Clarke says. “It’s a few hours out but once we get there I promise you that we will be met by my friends. And once we are there they’ll help you and we can part ways.”

“Good.” Is the only thing Lexa says in response.

“Figure you’d say that.” Clarke says and looks out the window.

“I didn’t mean-” Lexa says and her eyes go wide.

“Relax.” Clarke says and flashes her a grin. “I was just joking.”

Lexa just glares at her in response, okay so maybe she doesn’t appreciate Clarke’s jokes but hey at least she is trying to lighten the mood.

“There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Lexa says after a while. And Clarke’s mind goes all over the place. There are so many things that Lexa could want to ask her and most of them she doesn’t want to answer.

“Yeah?” Clarke says and looks away from her window to Lexa.

“Why did you say you couldn’t drive?” Lexa asks and Clarke can feel her stomach drop. This is so not a subject she wants to discuss. In fact she never wants to talk about it. Ever. And especially not with someone she barely knows.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Clarke says and looks down on her hands. She tries not to sound as angry as she feels but Clarke is pretty certain that Lexa heard the edge in her speech because she can her Lexa take a sharp breath. Clarke feels bad about it and is about to say something, but she isn’t sure what. She doesn't need to though.

“As you wish.” Lexa says and averts her attention back to the road.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“No need to apologize Clarke. You do not have to tell me. I mean we hardly know each other.” Lexa says and Clarke doesn’t know what to say. So she doesn’t say anything but just nods in response.

They just drive. Until they arrive in D.C and what they find… Well, it was certainly not what Clarke had expected. Not at all.

 

_One day later..._

Abby Griffin enters the office exactly 15 minutes after she receives the call from Kane. She lives about 25 minutes away from the office but this was too important for her not to run.

She had not seen her daughter for years, or at least not the girl she recognizes as her daughter. She disappeared years ago, when Abby put her father in jail. She knew that Clarke would never forgive her for that but she had to do her job. She had hoped that Clarke would at least understand that. She hadn't.

Instead Clarke had done the very thing Abby had put Jake away to prevent from happening. She had turned to a life of crime. And until Abby had put a stop to that she would never forgive herself.

So that's why when Marcus had called her telling her that she had a shot at fixing her mistake, that the first lead in over a year had come up, she would not waste her time. So she had run to the office.

"Abby!" Marcus exclaims as he is met with an out of breath and shaggy haired Abby making her way into the office. "You're already here,I-"

"Spare me the pleasantries, Kane." Abby says and holds up a hand. "I heard we have a lead."

"That we do." Thelonious says standing up from his chair by the large table in the middle of the room. "Camera footage, from a gas stop in Philadelphia."

"Philadelphia?" Abby repeats as a question, what would her daughter be doing there?

"Yeah, here I'll bring it up on the monitor." Jaha says and within a few clicks he has it on fullscreen. "It's not the best quality but that is definitely Clarke."

The footage shows two girls getting out of a car. One of them, the one Abby doesn't recognize, looks around.

"Who is the girl with her? Is she a new Ark kid? I don't recognize her." Abby wonders out loud.

"We are not sure though we have concluded another thing." Kane says as he turns away from the video footage. "The bank robbery that took place a few days ago? That was Clarke."

"Why wasn't I informed earlier?" Abby says as she grabs the controller to pause the footage from playing.

"Because we didn't know it was her before, but see the car they are driving? It's the same car that was seen driving away from the place of crime. There is no doubt that Clarke was not involved in the robbery." Kane answers as he sits down.

"So the girl was the driver?" Abby asks.

"Seems likely. Though continue watching the footage because here is where it gets interesting." Kane says and unpauses. "We only finished watching it when you stormed through the door."

Abby sees a man appear from out of frame walking towards the girl. She sees Clarke walk toward him and says something that makes him shift his focus. The distance between Clarke and the man gets smaller and she sees Clarke reaching behind her back.

"Oh god." Abby says as the watched the next series of events play out in front of her. The man punches Clarke. Clarke falls to the ground. The man points a gun at Clarke. The girl grabs the gun Clarke had dropped. The girl aims at the man. The man falls to the ground.

"How did you get this footage? This is way out of our jurisdiction." Abby asks and looks to Jaha after Kane shrugs his shoulder toward him.

"I can answer that." A fourth voice says. Abby turns to face the source of the voice. Not that she needs to. She'd recognize that voice anywhere. Even if it’s been over a year since she last heard it.

"Raven." She says and looks at the girl now standing in the door opening.

"Hello there mrs Griffin." Raven answers back flashing her signature smile as she folds her arms over her chest. "Fancy meeting you here."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Clarke pulls some shit and then takes Lexa somewhere special and Lexa struggles a bit with her internalized feelings and fears as well as some old memories. This chapter is a bit more angsty than the previous two, I would love to hear some thought on that (because I am currently figuring out how the story will progress and any input is definitely appreciated!)

"Well... don't we have the shittiest fucking luck." Clarke says as she watches the scene before her. The entire area is closed off by police tape. Her home (or well her previous home now she supposes) is now a pending criminal investigation. She just hopes that everyone got out before the feds showed up, if not then she and Lexa are truly fucked.

"What's going on here? Should I keep on driving or should we pull over?" Lexa asks as she slows the car down. "I don't think we are allowed to drive much further either way."

"No, we're not." Clarke says and sighs. This was definitely not something that she had braced herself for. "Besides there are two police officers up head." She points. "I should definitely not be seen by them in case they recognize me."

"Yes, of course." Lexa backs out of the street leading down to the closed off house. "We're should I drive now? Do you have any other houses to visit, non closed off once preferably."

"What? Oh no we are still going in there." Clarke says. "Pull over by that house at the end of the street. I have a few things I have to get."

"Clarke, they are not going to allow you to just walk into a closed off area." Lexa says and grabs Clarke's arm yet again to keep her from getting out of the car. Is this becoming a habit?

"I'll be very discreet." Clarke says and gives her a look that tells Lexa something else entirely. She cannot risk Clarke getting captured by the cops, then she'll be alone and there is no way she'll make it on her own.

"They'll see you."

"Oh I know." Clarke says and smiles. "That's why you are going to keep them busy."

"What?" This she did not see coming.

"There are only two of them there. My guess is that they are just there to guard the place, to make sure that no one enters until their superiors come back to search it or something." Clarke says.

"And you think I should do what exactly? Go up there and talk to them?"

"Yes?"

"I can't do that! What am I supposed to talk to them about?"

"I don't know, the weather? Look, it doesn't matter, a pretty girl like you talks to them they are bound to listen." Clarke says and winks at Lexa before getting out of the car.

Well... That was... Lexa doesn't really know why but she feels really motivated all of a sudden. She gets out of the car and Clarke is already gone. Of course.

Clarke decided to take the long way around, both of the cops were on the front lawn and she had an opportunity to use the side door. As long as Lexa did her job she would get in and out of the house no problem.

And she did trust both in Lexa's ability and in Lexa herself. So really there was little to no problem.

She'd be in and out no problem.

 

Lexa walks up to the house.

"Clarke." She calls out in a whisper. "Clarke."

How had she gotten this far away from her in that short amount of time? Lexa rubs her forehead trying to concentrate on the task at hand. She had so not signed on for this and she cannot help but to think that this is payback for flirting with that guy yesterday. That had all been her trying to get into character and putting the guy at ease, because it was obvious that Clarke’s barging in there and demanding a room was not going to do that.

She would never flirt with a guy otherwise. Unless her mother was present, but that was a completely different story. A pretty sad and stupid one at that. One that constantly brought Lexa’s mood down. So she would not focus on that one right now. Right now she was going to do something very illegal that demanded her full attention.

Help Clarke in the obstruction of justice, and probably also the destruction of vital evidence or something like that. Lexa from two days or so ago would probably never have agreed to this. Lexa from two days ago was eating nutella with a spoon and watching documentaries on Netflix about whales and video games (different documentaries, though imagine if it was the same… Then she’d get twice as much information in half the time, which would be freaking genius).

But then again. Lexa from two days ago had not shot a police officer in the chest. Lexa from two days ago was not on the run from justice. Lexa from two days ago had not slept in the same bed as a bank robber. And that is all because Lexa from two days ago had not meet Clarke.

It’s amazing how much meeting one person can change one’s whole life. Lexa does however think that most people who reference that old ass quote probably have quite different circumstances in mind. Because she is pretty sure her current situation is fairly unique. Or she hopes so at least.

 

Clarke made her way to her former house by stealthily running through the backyards of the houses leading up to it. It's not the first time she has done this, she has occasionally have had to make sure that no one would follow her back to the hideout. So she knew her way around quite well, she even knew some of the neighbors and they knew her (or rather they knew Abby, the girl next door who lived with her boyfriend and his friends who occasionally visited).

That felt like an entirely different life, and in a way it was. An entirely different time at the very least.

Clarke hadn't been back for almost over a year. She hadn't had the guts. And now that she did it was too late. The rest of her friends were gone. And she had no idea where they had gone.

It was just so typical. The moment she is ready to return, or rather forced to return, they are all gone. And she was alone all over again. Well. She did have Lexa. So not _completely_ alone.

But Lexa wasn’t her friend, or at least she didn’t think she was. What do you call the girl you kidnapped who then shoots a cop to save your life? Clarke wasn’t sure. Friend, however, felt a bit too intimate.

But then again, they did sleep in the same bed last night.

Clarke was standing by the edge of the last house now, looking over the scene and waiting for Lexa to do her thing. The cops were just standing in front of the front door and she could not see anyone else within the taped off area. So she was pretty sure that no one would be inside of the house. Which was good, she did not want to draw any unnecessary attention to herself.

She could see Lexa walk in the direction towards the house so she readied herself. She would have to be fast. But she knew her way around the house and hopefully, she thought, they hadn’t redecorated too much.

 

Lexa was a bit surprised by white suburbia she had found herself in. When Clarke had said that they would go to her friends she had expected some sort of dive or an underground cave. Pretty much anything else than this. This was as far from what she was prepared for as one could come. Maybe she did assume a lot of things when it came to Clarke.

She was making her way to the house just hoping that Clarke was in position and that she hadn't bailed on her.

Wait.

No, there she was. Lexa spots her standing by one of the houses closest to the police tape and Lexa feels like she can breathe again. Clarke nods in her direction and Lexa nods back. She was close enough for the policemen to hear her now so she called out to them.

"Hey, what's going on here?" She says and this time her accent was decidedly valley girl, not her best but it would probably do the job. If Clarke had been right it probably wouldn't matter what she said. She'd still have their undivided attention.

"This is a restricted area ma'am." One of the policemen say as the two of them walk toward her.

"Well aren't you just the picture of manliness and strength. What's your name big boy?" Lexa says and she can actually feel herself cringing at the words falling out of her own mouth. This was embarrassing and she couldn't believe that she was actually doing this. Damn Clarke! Clarke... She was gone from the other house so Lexa assumes that she made it into the house. She just hopes that Clarke will be quick about this. She really doesn't want to be in this position one more moment than what is necessary.

"Miss, I have to ask you to step back." The same officer says.

"Frank come on." His partner suddenly says. "The lady is just curious is all, that doesn't hurt anybody right?" Lexa smiles at him, at least this guy was a little nicer. And probably easier to fool.

"Why thank you kind sir, I was just wondering if you know anything about what happened in this house? My friend tells me it's because of some kind of ghost activity but I ain't sure I believe it - surely that cannot be right." Lexa says and goes into character as much as possible. It makes it easier.

"No of course not." The policeman whose name is not Frank says and laughs. "It's actually an old hideout of a violent street gang."

"You don't say." Lexa exclaims with as much surprise as she can muster. "In this neighborhood, I never would have guessed."

"Surely you must have heard of them?" The policeman says and closes the distance in between them a bit more.

"I am not sure." Lexa says, this might actually be interesting. Maybe she has heard of them, maybe this 'gang' that Clarke was apparently a part of was a bit more famous than she had let on. Lexa was intrigued nonetheless.

But before he can answer his partner drags him back. "We have a job to do. Not waste our time talking to ditzy women, sorry miss but this is the last warning. Leave." He says and Lexa backs up a bit.

"Oh I'm sorry, didn't mean to interfere with your work."

"It's no worry." He, the nicer one, says.

Then Lexa sees Clarke run out of the house back to where she had been. Clarke gives Lexa thumbs up. They can leave. Thank god.

"Ah well I should probably be on my way! It was nice meeting you!" She says and smiles. Then rushes away from there not wanting to stay a moment longer than necessary. The questions she had about the gang who owned the house flew right out of her mind as she returned to Clarke.

 

"Good going Lexa!" Clarke calls out to her as she comes closer to the car. Clarke had made it there a bit before Lexa and has already thrown in her bag she had picked up by the house in the backseat.

"I hope it was worth it." She says. "That was incredibly uncomfortable and also a bit degrading."

"Hey, I didn't say anything about trying to get into their pants." Clarke says and crossed her arms as she kicks herself of the car she was leaning against. "I just said to distract them, and you did, so what's the problem?"

"I do not feel comfortable in these situations is all." Lexa answers and looks at the ground. "Can we leave now? Before anyone realizes that we broke into a closed off area and, I am assuming, disrupted evidence?"

"Yeah sure." Clarke says as she gets into the shotgun seat. "You drive. I'll give you directions."

Lexa doesn't argue and gets into the driver seat. The two of them drive away from there. Lexa wondering where they are going and Clarke hoping that it will take the police a while to figure out anything was taken from the hideout. She doesn't need anymore heat on her than she already has. Neither does Lexa for that matter.

 

"Pull over here." Clarke says and points.

"Okay I have to ask, you haven't just brought me out here to kill me right? Because we've been driving through the forest for quite some time and we are far from civilization." Lexa says and Clarke cannot help but to think that she is adorable in all her worrying. Adorable in a slightly annoying way, because she still didn't trust Clarke. And that stung for some reason.

"No I'm not. Don't worry so much Lexa, you'll thank me later. Promise." Clarke says as the car stops in the spot she pointed out.

"Are we going to meet your friends?" Lexa says and looks at Clarke as she unfastens her seatbelt.

"No. I don't know where they are." Lexa deflates slightly at her words, Clarke guesses it's because Lexa is still stressed out about the whole going to jail thing. Which she understands but Clarke also realizes that Lexa is not going to get anywhere if she is fixated on all the bad things that can happen. Clarke knows that if they are gonna make it through this then Lexa needs to get her mind of it. And that is why she took Lexa here. They both need to relax for a while. _Lexa_ definitely needs to relax for a while. "Hey, don’t worry about that - we'll find them. I promise."

"Yeah okay." Lexa says and looks at Clarke with what she thinks is an attempt at a smile on Lexa's part. It looks forced as hell, Clarke can tell since she is pretty much the master of forced smiles. Though after tonight she is going to try and turn it into a real one. Turn that constant frown upside down. Or at least a little to the side. "Then what are we doing here?"

"You'll see, don't be so impatient." Clarke teases and gets out of the car. "Hand me the tiny bag in the backseat and we'll go."

 

Lexa follows Clarke through the woods, the sun is already starting to go down. She doesn't know what time it is, though probably sometime in the afternoon. They hadn't really eaten anything today, besides the junk food they had left from yesterday. She really wanted to eat something more substantial, she'd make sure to tell Clarke that later.

She certainly could not live like this on the road if junk food was all they would be able to eat, hopefully Clarke had other ways of getting more quality food. She was, after all, arguably far more experienced at this than Lexa.

But that would be a question for some other time. Now the only thing on Lexa's mind was figuring out where they were going and what Clarke had in mind once they got there. She had had this look in her eyes ever since they drove away from the house that Lexa could not quite make out the meaning of. Perhaps now she would figure it out.

"Not to ask the most cliché question in traveling history but, are we there yet?" Lexa asks.

"Only a few more minutes, it's not far I promise." Clarke says and Lexa runs up to her so that they are walking side by side. It feels a lot more safe to Lexa for some reason. Walking with Clarke by her side rather than having her front of her. Though the view from behind wasn’t all that bad…

She didn’t say anything but rather just enjoyed the peaceful quiet moment between the two of them once. It was really nice and it reminded Lexa of… No. She would not go there. She wouldn’t. Not ever.

"And here we are!" Clarke exclaims jumping Lexa out of her thoughts, for which some part of her was grateful.

"Wow." Is all she says because honestly, this was not at all what she had expected.

 

The look of utter surprise on Lexa's face is just so endearing that Clarke cannot help but to smile.

"It's been awhile since I was here myself, but it looks the same as it ever did." Clarke says as she starts making her way up the stone block at the edge of the forest.

"It's beautiful, Clarke." Lexa says and there is such an awe in her voice. Clarke remembers that as well, she had it in her own voice when she first found this place so many years ago. It was sort of her personal place for a while. Lexa is the first person she has shown it to, not that Clarke reflected much on that as she now stood there and just watched Lexa's face for her reaction.

Maybe she would later.

"Are you going to stand there with your mouth open catching flies all day or are you gonna make it up here." Clarke teases and smiles at Lexa. In fact she had not stopped smiling for a quite while now. It felt nice.

The place they were in was an officially closed off area, only the owners of the ground there were permitted within it. But as far as Clarke knew they, the owners, were never here. At the edge of the forest the gigantic stone block was situated just right so that one could gaze out over the seemingly neverending sea of blue, the shimmering beach and, of course, the absolutely breathtaking sundown currently taking place.

The colors it bathed the beach in was simply... Magical. Clarke had no other word for it. And even though this is far from the first time she sees it, it still takes her breath away. It's always slightly different, no sundown is exactly the same in color, and this one was definitely something special. It exuded dark pink and reddish shades all over the view in front of them. It was most definitely magical.

Sure there was probably some long winded scientific explanation as to why these particular colors were shown tonight but Clarke didn't care for that. To her it was just the ever present magic of nature. And she was enthralled by it. As, it would seem, was Lexa.

 

Lexa made her way up the stone block Clarke was sitting on and once she got all the way up the view was even more breathtaking. She just stood there staring out over the horizon for what felt like an eternity. It was so beautiful.

The colors, the water, the beach, it was all just... Simply the most beautiful thing Lexa had ever viewed.

"Good, keep standing just like that." Clarke suddenly says taking Lexa out of the moment. She was sitting on the ground with pen and paper in hand.

"What are you doing?" Lexa asks.

"Drawing." Clarke answers shortly. "You are in the perfect position so I must ask you to refrain from moving, your profile is stunning against this backdrop, so please get back into it." Clarke adds as she looks up from her paper.

Lexa doesn't really know what to do so she just follows Clarke's orders. Some parts of her heart were swelling a little because of Clarke's words, but those were parts Lexa had closed off. So she didn't reflect on it.

Maybe she would later.

"So is this a hobby of yours?" Lexa asks. "Drawing I mean."

"Yeah I suppose you could call it that." Clarke says. "Everyone's gotta have something right?"

"I suppose so."

They don't say much after that until Clarke tells Lexa that she is free to move. Lexa sits down in front of Clarke but before she can ask about seeing the portrait Clarke flips the page.

"You are not gonna let me see it?" Lexa asks and knits her eyebrows slightly. She would lie if she wasn't a bit disappointed that she didn't get to see it.

"Nope." Clarke says and smiles at Lexa which, naturally, infuriates her but she decides to let it go. If Clarke doesn't want Lexa to see then she will accept that. Or sneak a peak later. Whichever.

"So is this why you brought me out here? To draw?" Lexa then asks instead. As Clarke starts putting away her drawing book and pencil.

"In part. There is also this." Clarke says and digs a little in the backpack she brought. Lexa hears the familiar clinking and knows exactly what Clarke has in mind. And honestly? She does not object one bit. "My friend Monty makes the best moonshine this side of the Mississippi, or so he used to say. I don't know if he is right about but I do know this shit’s pretty damn good.”

Lexa doesn't really care if it's good or not. She just needs to take a swing (or more) of it. God she really needs to.

"Give it here." Lexa says and Clarke passes her the bottle which Lexa roughly pulls out of her hands.

"Take it easy it's-" Clarke says trying to grab the bottle but it's too late because Lexa is already chugging it like there is no tomorrow. "O-kay, nevermind then." She let's her hands down in defeat.

When Lexa is done she hands the bottle back to Clarke. Almost a quarter of it is gone.

"You know this is pretty strong stuff and the last person to shug it like that ended up passed out on the floor for an entire day." Clarke says and can't help but laugh at the memory.

"That sounds nice." Lexa says, already feeling a bit tipsy. Alcohol always did go straight to her head. "Maybe I'll do that later."

Clarke snorts and takes a swing of the bottle herself (significantly less than Lexa) and then puts it down again. Feeling the sting of the liquid going down her throat. How the hell did Lexa take that much of it? Christ, the burn is still just as painful as Clarke remembers it.

"That was nothing Clarke! Come one take a bit more!" Lexa almost shouts at her and picks up the bottle. She shoves it back at Clarke and says. "Chug it!"

Clarke gives her a bemused look but then she grabs the bottle and says. "Alright, fuck it" and shugs the damn thing just like Lexa before her.

"Yes!" Lexa exclaims and claps her hands. "That's the spirit!"

When she brings the bottle down Clarke can't help but spit some of it out, she got way too much into her system already and her throat was burning. God it was burning like crazy. She should have brought some water with her.

“Are you alright Clarke?” Lexa asks concerned, which Clarke finds really endearing. She just gives Lexa a thumbs up as she can feel her eyes watering, goddamn this shit fucking burned.

“Yeah I’m-” Clarke tried to reassure her but instead she started coughing violently and her tearcanal did the ultimate betrayal and let the tears fall down her cheek.

“I shouldn’t have pressured you.” Lexa states very matter-of-factly, which does seem to be her general way of speaking. “That was immature of me.”

After Clarke has calmed down from her coughing fit and has dried up her tears she says in response. “Lexa don’t worry about it, this was kind of a dumbass thing of me to do.” She cracks a smile and starts coughing a bit again. “God this shit is strong, how the hell did you manage to chug it without blinking or cough your lungs out?”

“Years of practice I think.” Lexa says and looks straight into Clarke’s eyes which makes the impact of her words all the more strong. There is definitely a story behind those few words and for a moment Clarke is tempted to pursue it. But the moment is over fast when Lexa looks away.

Instead she changes the subject. “Oh and I also got a bit of food, since you know, I kinda figured that we’d get hungry. I mean we haven’t really eaten since lunch, and that was just the leftovers from yesterday.” Clarke turns around and starts searching through her bag. “Here you go.” She picks up a box of cereal and hands it to Lexa. Then she digs deeper and finds a tiny jug of milk.

“Cereal and milk? Really?” Lexa says unimpressed and frowns.

“Well yeah? Look there wasn’t a lot of options available but at least it’s a bit better than candy and whatever that other crap was that we ate yesterday and earlier today.”

“And I am guessing you didn’t bring any bowls for us to pour it into?”

“Ah.” Clarke says and realizes her mistake.

“I thought so.” Lexa says and looks down and Clarke thinks that she can see a hint of a smile. But as soon as Lexa looks up again it’s gone and the expression of vague annoyance is back. Damn this girl was hard to please.

“Hey we can just, well, eat the cereal with our hands and then drink the milk? Same thing right, only a bit more environmental.” Clarke says in a tone of voice that she think Lexa will find at least a little funny. She does not and the frown is back in full force on Lexa's face. “Or we can mix the cereal and moonshine, whatever you feel like doing really.”

“I’ll eat them dry.” Lexa says as she opens the box of cereal and shovels a hand of them into her mouth.

“Right.” Clarke says and grabs a hand of it herself then takes a swing of the milk in her left hand. She swallows and says. “You sure you don’t want milk? This cereal is pretty dry.”

“I’m sure.” Lexa says. Clarke thinks it’s probably because she has already stated that she won’t have any milk, she kind of strikes Clarke as a person who would definitely stick to her initial decision no matter what. Even if it meant she’d have to eat dry cereal for dinner.

That was the kind of person Lexa seemed to be to Clarke.

 

After finishing the cereal (and milk) the two of them sit in silence for a while. The sound of them eating was no longer filling it which turned the previous comfortable silence into the currently increasingly awkward silence quite quickly.

“Hey you know what we should do?” She says and grabs the bottle of moonshine lying on top of the backpack.

“No, but I am guessing it involves more alcohol.” Lexa says and nods toward the bottle currently in Clarke’s hand.

“Exactly.” Clarke says and smiles."It's like you read my mind."

Lexa rolls her eyes but grabs the bottle.

 

A few halfassed drinking games later and the two of them had managed to drink up the entire bottle. But after the last drink Clarke could not hold her liquor anymore and spit out the last of the moonshine in her mouth. God she was feeling so fucking wasted right now. She was definitely going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.

Lexa’s gloating, however, was probably her biggest concern at the moment.

"Fucking lightweight." Lexa shouts at her and starts laughing maniacally. "Couldn't even outdrink the almighty Lexa!" Lexa starts beating her chest like she is Tarzan. Which Clarke thinks looks equal parts silly and hilarious.

"Yeah yeah, all hail the mighty Lexa." Clarke says as she starts bowing her head to Lexa.

"That's right! Bow down before me!" She says and tries to stand up. "Bow down Clarke!"

"Woah there almighty Lexa calm down, and sit down."

"Alright, but I am still mighty!" Lexa shouts out and throws her fist in the air while falling back on her ass.

“That you are.” Clarke says and smiles at her. To her surprise Lexa smiles back. And Clarke cannot help but to say. “You know I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much.”

“That is probably correct.” Lexa says and her smile drops. “I don’t really have a lot of reasons to smile.”

“What do you mean?”

\-------------   
_“What do you mean?” Lexa asks with tears in her eyes._

_“What I said.” She says and lets go of Lexa’s hands. “I am breaking up with you.”_

_“But why?” Lexa asks and she feels her voice breaking. Along with her heart._

_“What do you mean ‘why’?”_

_“Why are you doing this?” Lexa asks and her tears are falling free. She doesn’t even bother trying to keep them back. “Please just tell me why, I need to understand.”_

_“I don’t love you.” She says in one breath and without even looking at Lexa._

_“No.”_

_“I never did.”_

_“Stop!”_

_“This was all just a phase for me Lexa.”_

_“Stop! Just stop!” Lexa screams at her, she doesn’t want to hear this anymore. She can’t handle it. She can feel her body collapse in on itself at the words falling out of her love's mouth. Words she refuses to believe. She can’t believe. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. They were supposed to be forever. This made no sense. Why was she saying this? Why was she doing this?_

_“Don’t do this. Don’t take away everything we have. Just… Please.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“The feelings isn’t mutual Lexa.” She says and turns away. “You have to accept that. I am not yours. I never was.”_

_At that Lexa completely goes numb and is unable to utter anymore words. She just doesn’t have the energy. So she just stands there by her bed as she watches the girl she loves walk out of her room and out of her life._

_That was the last time she ever saw Costia. And the first time she ever saw Costia for what she really was._   
\------------

Even with alcohol flowing through her system and the buzz still very much being in effect Lexa could still not talk about Costia. She could not tell Clarke about why she didn’t smile much. It was just too hard. And she was not ready to talk about it. It was too soon.

It was always too soon.

“I…” Lexa says. Let’s out a sigh. She can’t. She knows that she can’t. “Nothing.” She can feel her eyes getting watery and she curses under her breath. This was not supposed to happen. She was not going to let herself show weakness. She was not going to let this tear fall down. She commanded it not to.

But it didn’t listen and it makes its way down her cheek. And even worse than that, Clarke sees it.

“Hey.” Clarke says and tries to find Lexa’s eyes. But Lexa is staring down at the ground, she can’t meet Clarke’s eyes. Not right now. Not when she has already shown weakness. That would just be the final nail in the coffin of her dignity.

But Clarke doesn’t let her get away with it. She does something that demands Lexa’s attention. She touches her shoulder.

Lexa goes quiet for a while and just stares at Clarke's hand. Her thoughts are tangled up in memories and she cannot focus on what’s going on. Only how good it’s making her feel.

And she can’t even tell if it’s Clarke or if it’s the memory of Costia. And really? She doesn’t care.

"It's been awhile since anyone has done that you know." Lexa says and stares back at Clarke, her expression changing into a serious one very quickly.

"Done what?" Clarke asks.

"This." Lexa says and touches Clarke's shoulder in the same way she is currently touching Lexa's.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Clarke says and looks into Lexa's eyes. Lexa looks down on the ground.

"I don't think you do." Lexa whimpers in the softest voice Clarke has ever heard and it breaks her heart. "I don't think you do." She repeats herself.

"What do you mean?" Clarke asks after a while. Both of them are still touching the other's shoulder and thus they are still sitting incredibly close to each other.

"I don't know." Lexa says and she looks back up at Clarke with tears in her eyes. "I just don't know, Clarke."

“Want to talk about it?” Clarke asks her.

“No… Wait yes.” Lexa says. “But I can’t because I really shouldn’t, I-I really really shouldn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what I said. I shouldn’t talk about it. It’s-it’s not a good idea.” Lexa says and she knows that she is right. If it was one thing she had learned these last years it was that you don’t show your feelings. Conceal don’t feel. That was one thing that Frozen got right.

Because she really shouldn’t speak about it. Not to anyone. Because if she does then it becomes real and that… Well she doesn’t want that.

But then she looks up and meets Clarke's eyes and everything that she previously thought flies out the window. Along with her common sense.

“Lexa you can tell me if there is something you want to talk-”

Clarke doesn’t say anything more. She can’t. Because Lexa’s lips are on hers before she can finish her sentence.

\------------

If it was one thing Lexa knew it was that she was not gay. She knew that because that is what her mother had told her over and over again for the last few years. And then Lexa had started repeating it to herself like a mantra.

_You are not gay Lexa, that was just a juvenile fantasy and it will get you nothing but heartbreak and misery. It will never make you happy._

To remind herself of what she was and what she wasn’t. She wouldn't ever give into her feelings no matter what. She was stronger than that. She was not so weak as to just let herself be swept up by some juvenile fantasy of what love was. She would not fall for false promises only to be met with heartbreak and misery.

Just because Lexa was only ever attracted to girls and had only ever been in love with another girl in her entire life that didn't mean that she was gay. And just because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a girl, get gay married and have sex with girls exclusively didn't mean that she was gay. Her mom had told her that, that everyone has these kind of thoughts about their girl friends. She just shouldn't act on them. There was a huge difference between thought and action. Her mother had taught her that as well.

There was a time when Lexa refused to believe her mother. She was proud and certain of who she was and it was all because of her. Because of Costia. She brought Lexa out into the light and shown her parts of herself that she would have never known about otherwise.

With Costia Lexa had been truly happy for the first time in her life. She might have only been 17 at the time but she had her entire life planned out. And she had thought that she was going to spend the rest of it with Cosita. Being as blissfully in love as ever and never lose her to anything.

Lexa had told her mother about it after months of trying to hide it and just realizing that she didn’t want to hide anymore. She been met with rejection and condescending words. About how Lexa was too young to know what she really wanted and that there was sure to be some boy that would love her if she just waited. Of course Lexa refused to believe her mother. Costia was everything and all she ever wanted. No boy could ever fill that spot in her heart.

But then Costia had left her. She had told Lexa that this between them was never going to work and that it was just a dumb high school thing that she had grown out of. That the love they shared had all been some kind of an illusion on Lexa’s part. Lexa didn’t get more of an explanation. She was broken for months after that.

At first she still didn't want to believe her mother but as the time passed and she didn’t hear anything from Costia... Lexa came around to the idea. She had learnt that if she was gay then she would lose her parents but if she was straight she would still have them there. And she had lost Costia either way. So the choice was an easy one. Even if it meant not acting on her feelings.

That was years ago now. Some part of Lexa knew that she would never be the daughter her mother always wanted, because even after going on over 50 dates with guys (set up by her mother) she still didn’t feel anything. But maybe that was how it had to be. Even if she was alone at least she would never be vulnerable again. She would never allow herself to feel that defeat she had felt after Costia ever again.

Being in love with a girl only gave her heartbreak and misery, she realized this. It had made her feel like she was on cloud nine only to fall down from it into the deepest pit of despair. During all that time spent in despair her mother’s words had been echoing in her mind and after a while Lexa was too tired to fight them. And thus she came around.

The love she had felt? That had had turned into a weakness. It had turn her weak. She had realized as much when she was lying there feeling broken. All because of a girl. All because she had been in love and gotten her heart broken.

Being in love was a weakness. And Lexa would not be weak.

Not for Costia. Not for that one girl in her pottery class that had winked at her once. Not for anyone ever again.

And definitely not for Clarke.

So why then was she currently pressing her lips together with Clarke’s?


End file.
